Competition for My Soul

It may have had to do with the way the stars were aligned on January 3, 2019 or possibly it was because "On the Tenth Day of Christmas, My True Love Gave To Me Ten Lords A-Leaping" but whatever the reason it was the Jehovah Witnesses in the morning and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the afternoon (I am unwilling to entertain the thought that my new overalls make me look like a country bumpkin, which would have made me a gullible mark).

There were two couples at the next table in McDonalds and they were leaving as I was leaving. One of the couples engaged me in conversation. The husband called attention to the book I was reading, which was "Demons" by Dostoevsky and he shared that he had read "The Death of Ivan Ilyich" by Tolstoy. Then his wife said, "do you use the computer?" She gave me a card with Matthew 5:3 "Happy are those conscious of their spiritual need" and the card also listed the website jw.org. I took the card and told her, "You are sowing seeds on barren ground." We parted and that ended a brief proselytizing encounter.


In mid afternoon there was a knock at my door. When I opened the door there were two teen-age women from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Outside my door on the wall in the hallway there are various pieces of art including several images of Samuel Beckett with accompanying words that are a homage to him and his oeuvre. They asked me about Beckett and I told them he was an Irish Playwright best known for his play, "Waiting for Godot." Things moved on and I let them know that for the last fifty years I have followed the counsel of a Greek named Socrates who said, "The unexamined life is not worth living." As is usual for this kind of conversation we were each talking past each other. They left me a tract and information about services at their church.

There was sweetness and a robotic innocence about the girls. I wondered if some day they would awaken and understand the Onetti-character's words:

I saw the methodical, the jovial, the resolute, the resigned, the incredulous, I saw the sad; I saw all those who will die without knowing themselves(129).

Even though each girl has a long life ahead of her it is likely they will die without knowing themselves.